Mourning The Dog You Wanted

When you decided to bring a dog into your home, you likely imagined all the fun things you would do together. Maybe you are an avid mountain biker or trail runner and imagined your new pup tagging along. Perhaps you are a social person and imagined gatherings that included your friends, family, and their dogs. This isn't unusual. In fact, most of us want to include our dogs as much as possible in the activities we enjoy to hopefully give them a full and enriching life. But, it's important for us to be aware and understand if our DOG enjoys these situations and activities.

But what happens when your dog is not suitable for the lifestyle or activities that you love? Or perhaps circumstances have changed — the dog that used to love going to the dog park now can't go without incidents occurring.

You may be mourning the dog you wanted.

More remote outings can still be a lot of fun for both you and your dog!

1. Dogs Are Not Blanks Slates... Ever

When we bring home a dog, whether it is a puppy, or an adult, no matter where they came from or their breed/mix, this does not mean they can be moulded into whatever we want them to be, including likes and dislikes. Your dog may have a strong preference or dislike for certain environments or activities despite your efforts. You must be prepared for that. And no matter how much "training" or exposure you may not have that "mountain biking dog" that you desire.

2. Preferences & Behaviours Can Change

Your dog may, for whatever reason at some point in their life, change their behaviour in certain environments or situations. This may not make them suitable to do things they used to do! And while we sure can try with some behaviour modification and investigation to try and change this we may not be successful to reverse this.

3. You Will Have To Adjust Expectations

Relationships with animals MUST be reasonable and realistic based on the individual dog, cat, chicken, etc. Each have their own specific set of DNA, history and preferences. We must concede and accept that they will not be suitable for all situations and environments in our lives. Just because your dog cannot go on daily runs with you or go to the dog park doesn't mean they cannot have a fully enriched and happy life with you. Yes, you may have to make adjustments and yes you may be disappointed but this is the reality when we bring pets into our lives. It's the honest truth.

Why am I sharing this with you? I want you to know that if this is all too familiar to you and you feel sad and disappointed that you are facing any of these challenges, it's normal to feel that way. It doesn't make you a bad or selfish person. But, you must grieve and let go of the dog you envisioned you would have and EMBRACE the dog you do have!

Find activities or things that you perhaps you had never thought of before that you can enjoy together! When my senior dog couldn't do certain activities we then went on lots of car rides together and hit the "magic window" (McDonalds) and went to a quiet park to hang out to get her out and about. We got a dog stroller too. These are just a few ideas to let you know that you may need to get creative, and your relationship can still thrive!